My First Drunken Night and Hangover

 West Calder Main Street

 

My First Drunken Night and Hangover

 

I have never been much of a drinker. However, this tale starts when I was 18, the start of the legal of drinking age in Scotland.  I had already tried some vodka which I thought was okay but never enough to get really drunk and GOD forbid that my parents should find out!

 

This Friday evening started with my band practice in West Calder, I played the cornet in West Calder Brass Band. As soon as the practice finished, I was off to one of the local pubs for my future brother-in-law’s stag night.  It was a big adventure for I had never been to a stag night before and this one was important, my new brother-in-law to be who was also a friend too.

 

I had lager, vodka, whisky, rum in quantity and remember I wasn’t a drinker.  There were a couple of my other friends there that night, Jimmy and Peter and they left to go home with me. I was legless and so was Peter.  Jimmy was the soberest of the three of us, and he managed to keep us upright and walking. We first headed to the chip shop at the top of West Calder and as we approached it there was a policeman on foot patrol.  Well, I was 18 and it was legal for me to drink alcohol and I had to tell him this in uncertain terms, this was spiced with some choice spicy language which must have carried for my young sister Helen, was quite a bit further down the road with her friends and heard me and my choice language much to her chagrin. The policeman was great though and just smiled good naturedly, letting me finish and letting me go on my way home with Peter and Jimmy.  Peter was first to be dropped off because he lived in West Calder, the three of us got to his front door and his Mum answered as Peter, looking like a zombie staggered in the door.  Jimmy and I then had a mile walk to Polbeth where we both lived. Jimmy had to manoeuvre me up a flight of stairs to get to my front door and he held on to me as he knocked the door.  I think it was my Mum who answered as I literally fell in the door, I think Jimmy was quite glad to leave as quickly as possible.  My mother was deeply concerned about my state; however, my father was quite understanding knowing I would learn my lesson. I am sure my Mum made me a tea, anyway I am sure neither parent (I don’t know about my sisters) would have got much sleep that night because I was projectile vomiting in the loo frequently through the night. In these days I worked on a Saturday morning in Edinburgh so at the due time (7ish) I had a little breakfast (I think) and tea before getting the bus into Edinburgh, I felt terrible and must have looked like death warmed up. The 30-minute bus journey seemed to take an eternity and I just felt dreadful. I managed to keep going through the morning and then it was time for home and back on another bus. I still felt terrible. When I got home, I only had time for a brief lunch, as much as I could stomach, because after a quick change into my brass band uniform and collecting my cornet, I was off to march and play at East Calder Gala Day (like a fiesta day), I have no idea how I managed.  When I got home, I must have been starting to recover because I went out to the dancing to West Calder Poly (that is what we did on a Saturday night in these days and there was no alcohol served there). I had phoned my friend Peter to see if he wanted to go but he was still feeling too ill. I walked a girl home (about 2 or 3 miles) and then walked home again. Oh, the resilience of youth. After that traumatic Friday night, I learned my lesson (mostly). I have only every been really drunk about 3 or 4 times in my life and that I believe was quite enough for me.

 

Just a little foot note, I found out a few days later that when Peter’s mother went to check on him that night, she found him in a prayer like position over his bed (never having made it into it), in a drunken sleep midst counting what money he had left after the night out.

 

Embarrassing Moments 3

 West Calder Brass Band - Parkhead Gala Day 1960s

Pomp and Circumstance

 

I returned from band practice having played a new marching tune which I really liked.  My father was standing up some steps, perhaps changing a light bulb and I just couldn’t wait to tell him about it.  I gave him the name of the piece and I thought he was going to fall of the steps laughing.  After a minute or so and with tears in his eyes he said for me to tell my Mum, so I did. “Pompt and Circumcise!” I was young…… It should have been Pompt and Circumstance.

 

Horse manure

 

My parents visited not long after we moved into our new home in Warwick.  They had never been on an aeroplane before, and I had paid for them to fly down from Edinburgh Airport to Birmingham where I collected them. My Mum was a smoker and, in these days, it was allowed to smoke on aeroplanes, in fact it was possible to smoke anywhere. So, they enjoyed their first ever flight and being able to smoke made it all the more pleasurable for my Mum.

 

It was a new build that we were in so what to be our garden was very rough and ready. My father advised me that horse manure would be really good for the soil.  A few weeks later I headed up to Warwick Racecourse thinking I would buy some horse manure.  I went to the office and asked about buying some bags and the guy pointed over to another area outside. “There’s a shovel and sack, help yourself!” There was me, smart but casual, with pristine white trainers on thinking I was going to buy prepacked poo! By the time I was finished my trainers were green!