Laughter's Warmth

 

Laughter’s Warmth

 

A smile means warmth

A giggle, fun,

Laughter, freedom,

A belly laugh, release.

However, the most important laughter of all

Is that which is aimed at one’s self,

pricking the balloon of ego and pomposity.

 

John

There is a selection of my art on canvas

 and other mediums available in my

Bonanza Shop here.

 

I have two self-help stories available exclusively on

 Amazon, either on the Kindle or paperback, and I do

 hope that you find them interesting, thought-

provoking, and, most of all, enjoyable: -

 

The Rock Philosophy

This simply written short story is aimed at those who

 seek to understand themselves, and through

 understanding themselves comes a greater

 understanding of life. 

 

The Life of Jesus

(as witnessed by his brother)

Much has been written about Jesus, and no matter your

 view on religion or Christianity, this person, whether he

 was as described in the bible or not, has singularly

 shaped, to a greater or lesser extent, the lives we lead

 today through his wisdom. There are many versions of

 the story, but there is only one truth, and is it not

 better to know the truth?

 

You are most welcome to visit my self-help youtube

 channel Advantage Subliminal

 

And you will find an excellent read in this story by my

 son Colin, and it is here.

Train Adventure

 Edinburgh Waverley Railway Station

Train Adventure

 

My niece was having a naming ceremony for her youngest child and my son Alastair was to be the ‘Godfather’ and he was going to say a few words at the event which was in Edinburgh. On the same day my wife (ex-wife now) was going to a seminar/training course in Newcastle I think it was, and she was leaving from Edinburgh by train.  We didn’t live in Edinburgh, but the smart way was to kill 2 birds with one stone.  The plan was my son, and I, would park the car and drop my wife off at her train. It was a great plan, and we’d have more than enough time to drop her off then go to the naming ceremony with plenty of time to share and catch up with everyone before the informal ceremony started. It all went like clockwork; we found a parking space near the train station in Edinburgh city centre, and we escorted my wife to her train carrying her luggage in the process. We found the platform and went with my wife onto the train so that we could put her luggage on the luggage rack and then say goodbye. Everything went perfect and we were just about to leave my wife when the train chugged into action. My son and I bolted for the door but to late, we were leaving the station, and the next stop was Berwick upon Tweed just over the border into England and that was some distance away. My son and I just looked at each other before we went back and told his mother the news. Of course, we were panicking because we were on a schedule, we did have some leeway, but we didn’t think it would be enough. We then went to find the train conductor to explain the situation and to pay for our tickets. He was very understanding as he smiled and said we were not the first ones that this had happened to.  Instead of taking our fare, he issued us a ticket which we were to give to the conductor on the way back so that we wouldn’t be charged. He then said that we should arrive in Berwick upon Tweed at about the same time as the other train heading back to Edinburgh if both trains were on time but there was a very small margin of error to move from one train to the other. As we neared the station, we both said goodbye again to my wife as we readied ourselves for a quick dash to the other train not knowing how big the station was and where our new train would be. 

 

 

Berwick Upon Tweed Railway Station

 

We hovered at the door until the train stopped and they opened, then we were like two greyhounds racing for the other train and this time fortune smiled on us, it was a small staion and we made it, just! Once we got back to Edinburgh it was a mad dash back to my car and a race to my niece’s home, but we made it by a whisker.

Bouncing/Steward

Edinburgh

 

My friend who had been one of my original Karate coaches told me that he had taken a job as a part time Bouncer/Doorman/Steward years before to test himself and his Karate skills.  Good enough for me I thought so I, through a friend, got a part time job as a Doorman/Bouncer at ‘The Goblet’ on Rose Street in Edinburgh, this was in the early 1980s. Rose Street was a busy place for revellers, and it was known to have its moments. I was to work Friday and Saturday nights.  The guy who got me the job was the head doorman at a Pub with dancing a few doors along from where I was based.  Now you have to understand my only experience of bouncing was observing the bouncers at The Poly (dance hall) in West Calder and they were good.  I had never been in any fights as an adult other than sparring at Karate.  The Goblet was on two levels which were connected inside but had two separate external entrances/exits. I arrived on my first night dressed casually as was the requirement for this establishment.  I met the manageress and the experienced bouncer who I would be working with, and he would show me the ‘ropes’ and keep his eye on me to make sure everything was okay.  We were just getting ready to take up our positions when Pam the Manageress spoke to the two of us.  One of her bar people couldn’t manage and would one of us, the bouncers, fill in for them.  The experienced bouncer jumped at the chance which meant I was having my first night on my own.

 

I stood at one of the doors and watched the customers as they entered. There were two sets of doors, one outer and one inner, I was at the outer door separated from the bar by the inner door (if I remember correctly).  Shortly afterwards a barmaid called me over to introduce herself. I should mention that this was on the lower level, the other bouncer was working behind the bar on the upper level. Introductions done I went back to my post at the door.  It could only have been about 5 minutes later when I had heard the barmaid shout my name with some urgency. I entered the bar and there were two guys scrapping and of course no experienced bouncer for he was working in the bar on the upper level separated internally by steps and a door, so he had no idea what was happening. I didn’t have time to think, I just stepped in and restrained the nearest scrapper by putting my arm around his neck in a choke move and pulled him back off balance whilst eye-balling the other guy telling him to stay where he was.  In the back of my mind, I was telling myself that if he attacked, I would try and hold the guy I had and front kick the other assailant. Fortunately, he must have realised from the look on my face that he was better staying put which he did. The rest of the night was quiet after that.

Embarrassing Moments 3

 West Calder Brass Band - Parkhead Gala Day 1960s

Pomp and Circumstance

 

I returned from band practice having played a new marching tune which I really liked.  My father was standing up some steps, perhaps changing a light bulb and I just couldn’t wait to tell him about it.  I gave him the name of the piece and I thought he was going to fall of the steps laughing.  After a minute or so and with tears in his eyes he said for me to tell my Mum, so I did. “Pompt and Circumcise!” I was young…… It should have been Pompt and Circumstance.

 

Horse manure

 

My parents visited not long after we moved into our new home in Warwick.  They had never been on an aeroplane before, and I had paid for them to fly down from Edinburgh Airport to Birmingham where I collected them. My Mum was a smoker and, in these days, it was allowed to smoke on aeroplanes, in fact it was possible to smoke anywhere. So, they enjoyed their first ever flight and being able to smoke made it all the more pleasurable for my Mum.

 

It was a new build that we were in so what to be our garden was very rough and ready. My father advised me that horse manure would be really good for the soil.  A few weeks later I headed up to Warwick Racecourse thinking I would buy some horse manure.  I went to the office and asked about buying some bags and the guy pointed over to another area outside. “There’s a shovel and sack, help yourself!” There was me, smart but casual, with pristine white trainers on thinking I was going to buy prepacked poo! By the time I was finished my trainers were green!